Fix you
by MarySLi
Summary: Medicine is about nothing else but fixing. We study for years and believe ourselves gods for the simple reason that we can fix other people. To the patients, we represent everything except what we truly are: humans. And, like every human, we also get broken. And, when that happens, who saves the gods? Who fixes the fixers?


_Fix you_

_Medicine is about nothing else but fixing. We study for years, work at a hospital and believe ourselves gods for the simple reason that we can fix what few people know how to repair._

_To the patients' eyes, we are saviors; the personification of safety. We are subnormal creatures that are not allowed to fail. To them, we represent everything except what we truly are: humans. And, like every human, we also get broken. And, when that happens, who saves the gods? Who fixes the fixers? _

Getting over him was harder than she imagined. Day and night, she thought of him: his long, black hair; the musky scent of his cologne; the paleness of his skin and the deep blue of his Oriental eyes.

And his voice. His voice haunted her relentlessly. She adored the husky tone in it, the seductive way his lips moved when he-

Someone snapped her fingers in front of her, "Dr. Goodman!"

Chantal jolted and focused her glazed eyes.

"Yes?" she dreamily asked, moving around some of the files on the desk, avoiding the Chinese's pretty eyes.

"This is the fourth time you space out in the day." Dr. Lenalee Lee absentmindedly said, "Is everything alright?"

_No, it is not._ Chantal groaned to her insides, _Because I believe he fucking likes you, bitch._

"Yes." The tall, brunette girl assured, "I'm just distracted."

"I can see that." Lenalee faintly smiled and handed her a clipboard with papers on it, "Mr. Harrison."

Chantal understood without further questioning. She grabbed the clipboard and looked for the folder that contained Mr. Harrison's clinical history in. Chantal used to hate paperwork. She always thought that this was for the secretaries, not for a doctor like her. However, interns had to do as they were told, and Chantal was stuck in the administrative side for the rest of the week. This time, however, storing away material and filling in forms fitted her mental state of mind way better than surgery. She missed the sensation of a scalpel cutting through tender flesh, yet, she didn't' feel competent enough to handle the life of another person when her own was reeling out helplessly.

She never cried, but she vomited that morning…and the morning before…and the morning before… She guessed it was the only way in which her body tried to detoxify itself from the uncontrollable pain and loneliness that Kanda Yuu's departure left.

And it would have been better if he had really left. All that Chantal wished for was not having to see him every goddamned day at every damned hour. Suddenly, the large Black Order Hospital, which at first seemed immense, was too small.

"Wanna come in a surgery?" Lenalee happily proposed.

As seductive as the idea of getting into surgery was, Chantal's pride would never allow her to accept this bitch's proposal.

"Dr. Walker assigned me here." Allen Walker, white-haired, young and scarred, was the resident responsible of the newcomers. He was quite nice, kind and comprehensive, albeit ruthless when it came to critical situations. In Chantal's opinion, he was the type of man born to be a doctor. He was talented, and his easy ways gave a natural air to everything he did.

"I could use some help. Let another one work here." Lenalee insisted.

Chantal fixated her gaze on the computer's screen and pretended to read the reports, "I'm assigned here. Thanks." She repeated automatically.

Straps of silky, black hair hindered her view. Startled, Chantal looked up and found Lenalee leaning on the counter, closer to her.

"Yes?"

"Why do I get the feeling that you're avoiding me?" the Chinese inquired with curiosity. Her brown eyes drilled Chantal's and she shrank inside.

_Because you took him away from me._ She sourly thought.

"I'm not avoiding you." the intern evaded Lenalee's gaze awkwardly.

"Yes, you are." The resident insisted. She straightened and flashed Chantal an apologetic smile, "I don't know what I did to you, but, well, sorry if I have offended you in any way."

Chantal sighed. She was getting tired of discussing anything remotely related to Kanda's rejection. It made her nauseous and anxious, and Chantal couldn't afford those kind of feelings in her profession.

Therefore, she stood up and grabbed a bunch of files, "It's okay." Chantal muttered between clenched teeth. She was conscious of how unfair she was towards Dr. Lee. The woman was always polite and supportive, and really sensitive if it came to that. There was nothing in her that could justify Chantal's hostility, and that only made her hate Lenalee Lee even more.

Lenalee made movement to block Chantal's way, but, thank God, her beeper caught her attention and she had to sprint away right after.

Chantal inhaled deeply and commanded her quivering stomach to keep the breakfast in. Unseen tears prickled her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. It was ridiculous and pathetic to keep crying about something that nobody else really cared about, not even Kanda Yuu.

The girl took the files to another room and forced herself to think about something else.

* * *

When Allen Walker got into Harvard University, his immediate preoccupation was the fee. As an orphan adopted by Cross Marian, plastic surgeon, womanizer, and, above all, spendthrift, Allen was pretty sure that, albeit having a great income, there would be not enough money left for school. He applied to Harvard just to test himself, but never really expected to make it into Medical School.

Just like he predicted, Cross's help wasn't that helpful at all. Allen received a scholarship and made school services in his few leisure hours in order to pay his education. The first two years were tiresome and stressful, but, in the end, Allen Walker managed to graduate from College and be admitted in the prestigious Black Order Hospital in California.

Now, as a proper resident, Allen felt like he could finally relax, even when that word had no place in his dictionary. Economically, at least, he could be independent. The counterpart of it was that he was obliged to pay Cross's debts, but now, at least, Allen didn't have to worry whether there would be enough money left to cover his needs or not.

And, the best part of it all was that he got to pick on the new interns. He tried not to be too mean, just like Lenalee suggested, but sometimes he couldn't help playing a prank or two to the new flesh.

"Johnson!" he summoned out loud from behind ER's counter.

The doctor, a young intern of one-eighty meters, jogged towards him, expectant.

"Yes, Dr. Walker?" his big, brown eyes observed Allen carefully.

"Did you intubate patient in bed three?"

Johnson nodded energetically, "Yes, sir. I checked his vitals too and paged Dr. Marian."

Allen lifted his gaze, "And not old Bookman?"

Johnson's confidence vanished in a second. He hesitated and narrowed his eyes, "No…Dr. Cross Marian…. the Plastic Surgeon."

"Why do we need him? Didn't you know that she has brain damage too? Do you think it is more important to treat the burns instead of a stroke?" Allen raised his voice two octaves and stared sternly at the poor intern.

Johnson's face lost all color and his hands started to shake uncontrollably, "I…I didn't…read…the clinical history…I mean…I will page him right away!"

Allen maintained his eyebrows furrowed until the intern's stunned and scared expression got too amusing. A smile flashed across Allen's face, "Just kidding, Adam." He laughed well-naturedly and patted the boy on the back. "You did okay. Go stitch the boy in bed four."

Adam Johnson frowned, but he obeyed silently. It was clear that he didn't like being teased and didn't take it as easy as Chantal Goodman or Rhode Camelot.

Well, Rhode Camelot was water from another glass. The girl, albeit efficient, was creepy as hell. Allen met her at Harvard. She was known and despised for being the daughter of Cyril Camelot, a rich businessman member of Noah's Family. Whereas most of the students got into Harvard by working their asses off their entire life, Rhode Camelot got in with grades of C- and an exorbitant 'donation'.

Allen never trusted her. Her eyes were sly and vicious, and her smile gave him the creeps. It didn't help the fact that she followed Allen everywhere and requested to be in his service personally.

Fortunately, after talking to Director Lee, she was transferred to Cardio, where Tiedoll and Kanda had to suffer the torturous voice of the little Noah instead of him.

_Oh, Kanda must be having the time of his life. _He thought with an internal grin. Above everyone, Kanda was known as the hater number one of Noah's family. Nobody knew exactly what was behind the resentment, and everyone was smart enough to avoid the subject. Therefore, his loathe remained as an unsolved mystery which was now used by Allen Walker against the Cardio Resident.

The sound of sirens sucked him out of his rummage. Automatically changing into professional mode, Allen grabbed some gloves and ran towards the entrance of the ER, summoning two interns to his side.

A teenage girl on a bed cried loudly as they pushed her into the hospital complex. Her body was discreetly covered with a blanket and her hair dripped cold rain water. Toma recited out loud the situation, "Car crash. Vitals, regular. Her right tibia is broken with glass embedded in the muscle. No other trauma detected."

Allen nodded apprehensively and glanced at one of the interns. He didn't bother identifying who it was, "Page Dr. Lee."

"Uhmm…which Lee…?"

"Which Lee is resident in Ortho?" Allen asked harshly, focused on the next bed that was being pushed into the room. The sheets were soaking blood.

The poor intern, a man, Allen noticed, stammered and followed his orders rapidly.

Allen sighed. Sometimes, interns were too stupid for his likes.

* * *

"Taking a break?" Lavi Bookman, tall, redhead, and handsome, patted Kanda Yuu's back playfully and sat beside him at the table. He put his tray in front of him and toyed with the chocolate cake.

Kanda huffed and sent him a judgmental glance, "Dessert first?"

"Don't act as if you didn't know me, babe." Lavi replied smugly and put a piece in his mouth.

Kanda only snarled and focused on his salad.

"So…what's up?" Lavi asked nonchalantly.

"You don't have to be talkative." Kanda groaned, clearly not in the mood.

However, Lavi didn't mind the grim aura the doctor gave away, "Too bad I _am_ very talkative."

To this, the Japanese man only grunted, annoyed.

"You seem a lot tenser today." Lavi pointed out.

"That's because you're talking."

"Oh, no, I'm sure that's not the reason." Lavi leaned back on his chair and studied Kanda's countenance carefully while he chewed.

"Does it have anything to do with someone whose name starts with a 'Ch' and ends with 'antal'?"

The murderous look Kanda darted him confirmed Lavi's sentence, although his words were quite the opposite, "I have nothing to do with her."

Lavi rolled his eyes, "Oh, believe me, we ALL noticed that."

Kanda, "Then, stop asking."

The neurosurgeon resident didn't relent, though. Lavi leaned on his elbows and looked at Kanda closely, "Why did you break up, anyway?"

"Too demanding." Kanda admitted between clenched teeth.

"The relationship or her? Because you haven't been in a lot of relationships that I know of, and maybe it was just too much for you."

This earned the most threatening glare Lavi had ever seen in Kanda, "I didn't chicken out, if that's what you're implying."

"Then you're telling me that she broke up with you? Because the rumors say otherwise."

Kanda snorted angrily, "I didn't love her anymore."

"Uh-huh." Lavi raised an eyebrow skeptically, "Then why are you in such a bad mood?"

"Because the interns are idiots." Kanda hissed.

"Uh-huh, so it has nothing to do with Cross Marian flirting with Chantal out there in the hallway."

To this, the Japanese huffed almost amusingly, "She is not stupid."

"But she is desperate." Lavi explained, his countenance becoming serious. He locked eyes with Kanda and said, "And a desperate woman is capable of anything just to feel company."

The Japanese's shoulders stiffened. He observed Lavi levelly, searching for any signal of tease, and then stood up when he found none. "She is not stupid." He repeated before leaving the table, visibly worried.

Lavi sighed. "Oh, but you are, Kanda Yuu." He mumbled in a low voice.

* * *

A/N: I KNOW I'M A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING!

I haven't answered any of your PMs and I feel terrible about it. I wrote this in my few leisure hours, so, please, don't get mad at me. It took me three weeks to write five pages T_T

I hope you like this. So...reviews?


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